Back to Life

  It happens to me sometimes that Real Life overwhelms me, so I kinda take a break in Second Life. And then it just happens: Second Life brings me back to Life. To the complete picture, exactly where both RL and SL meet: me. 

  Does it ever happen to you that Second Life actually brings you back to Life? 

  Rosie is from India and one of my best friends. When she started playing Second Life she was very depressed, it was after a suicide attempt. She had been dating this guy in RL forever and it turns out they couldnt marry because of their caste. 

  

   She was desperate, "I'm too old to start a new relationship with another man, no one will ever want to marry me...my family is so ashamed of me". But soon she reached that point with Second Life, the point where you find your whole self: Rosie finally saw that she wasnt her Caste, she worths more than just a marriage, she didnt have to please her family because she has her own life. Through Second Life she could see things about herself that she had never seen before about people, society and mostly: about herself.

  My friend Paul realized through Second Life that what he really loved was teaching, so he started studying, now he graduated nearly at his 40s and got a job teaching in College. 

  Did you get to that point in Second Life where you actually see yourself? 

   M.

Dating the Family

  Did it ever happen to you that you start dating someone, everything goes so well that you meet the family and you love them? So you add them as friends, you are suddently part of the family. Now you aren't just dating your sweetheart, you are dating his entire family and friends. 

  It's all so good until you break up and realize that you weren't the only one emotionally involved. And that now half of your friends list are quiet or doesnt know if or how to talk to you, and it all gets odd. 

  I was dating someone once that had a large family in Second Life, they were so nice! But then the inevitable happened: we broke up and I lost him and his amazing sisters. And I know it had to be that way, somehow we all knew very different versions of the person I was dating. 

  My friend Rick was married in Second Life and his wife got crazy: stalking him, not letting him talk with anyone, chasing him in every Roleplay he did. She was his shadow. So they got a divorce and he not only lost family and friends, but also saw them become his enemies! How odd...one day they loved him, the next day they blame him for breaking her heart, but none of them ever thought about his own heart. He had to close his account and start a new Second Life from zero. 

   Anyway, the point is always the same: how many people is emotionally involved in this relationship? 

M.

Second Life out loud...or not?

   After a while hearing about Second Life relationships and being in a few myself, I reached a point where I asked myself ... In order to keep a Second Life relationship, are there certain things we shouldnt say at loud and just keep for ourselves? 

  Like being married, being a parent, being sick, being very deeply in love, or even hide how we actually look like in Real Life. Should all that really matters in a Second Life Relationship? Is it a healthy relationship if we keep those things for ourselves? 

  And it isnt just about partners, the question includes friends. Why would we invest so much in a place where we feel we shouldnt reveal too much about our truely self...? 
   Recently I met someone that felt like The One. I made one tiny mistake: I didnt read his profile, I never do. Call me silly but I like to get to know someone, not reading and judging by the cover. So after all those "lets see where all this takes us" "lets not think too much" blah blah, he said "But you did read my profile, right? I am married in Real Life, not a happy marriage but yeah, married". There isnt to much to think, right? He was The One....for his wife. 

   After a million calls in Real Life, skype full time for over a month, sharing even bottles of wine together... I couldnt help to wonder: would it have been different if he never told me about his marriage?
  

  M.