Love=BDSM

One minute this person is all over you and the next minute the same person is pushing you away. And you ask yourself "WHY IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING AGAIN?" Why did you even get in this relationship? We all know how much we are risking when we get in a relationship but...

Does it worth it?

When you realize that in the relationship all the time you were thinking about "we", your partners version of "we" was him and his dick.... does that mean you have to actually explain to that person what love means? Or you can just turn the page and move on alone? 

I think love is actually a subtle version of BDSM. 

John used to tell me how much he cared about his submissives, how he loved them and respected them because thats what a Master does. But in a relationship out of bdsm....in Second Life you dont get much of that.

When do you stop being the lovely girlfriend and become being a masochist? 

Are we actually optimistic if we continue in a relationship where we are not having what we applied for? Or does listening to excuses makes us plain stupid or submissives taking the pain?

Faking it

Are we just romance intolerant? 

Some people are terrified of showing their real feelings and facing a real relationship, even in Second Life it is a challenge to love without fear. 

But for some, it is better to have a fake relationship. Some go to RP sims, others pay for a partner. The thing is: they rather faking it than being alone. Or even worse: being in a real relationship and risk their real heart. 

Dawn met Austin last year at Energy Club. She was so in love with him, but he wasnt sure he wanted the same she did. Somehow Dawn decided that all she wanted was to be close to him all the time she could, so to her Austin was her boyfriend. And she suffered a lot because he used to spend sometimes the whole day without talking to her, then just come and say "I was afk", and she would believe him because all she wanted was him. And Austin felt so guilty because he loved Dawn, but he just didnt have the guts to tell her he didnt want a relationship at all. He just didnt want to hurt her. But yes, meanwhile, he kept seeing other women. 

One of my closest friends is a very handsome man that pays monthly for a girlfriend. He cant stand a real relationship, he knows that when he pays for it then he is in control of the situation, he decides how the relationship will be. And those women are very happy about it, they get thousands of lindens and gifts and they are actually loved...they have a man that cuddle them and take them to dates. And they feel important making him feel loved and happy. Or maybe they are amazing faking it and making him feel good about it!

Is it better to fake it than being in an actual relationship or even  just being alone....?

I wonder how many are looking fake it just to have someone for Valentines Day. 

A new page

This time I'm going to tell you MY story.

I met the father of my children in Real Life 10 years ago in Second Life.

It wasnt easy at all, i live in Argentina. He lives in Italy. I didnt speak italian, he didnt speak spanish.

But it was great...it was perfect until...it wasnt.

(This is my old youtube with him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXMbBlZxo3k)

I swore I would never fall in love again. It hurted me so bad to end that relationship because I never loved like that and i really didnt want to risk falling again and suffering like that.

I met someone in Second Life a while ago and somehow I loved him right away, I just knew our connection was in a different level. And he is coming to Argentina now. And here I go... After so many years... I am giving myself the chance of loving again. To really love again.

Maybe I shouldnt, but damn...this feels like the most beautiful mistake.

Tyler, I'm ready to risk. Are you...?

Outsiders

When it comes to Second Life, is it really what's outside what counts? 

Having the perfect avatar can give you some points when you are out in the Virtual World socializing. But a beautiful avatar doesnt guarantee a good person.


Sean was a furry when he met Ari. At the beginning she thought he was ridiculous, but after a few minutes with him she totally fell for this guy that had her paws all over her.

"The way he talked to me was very different from the way everyone else treated me, we had a connection right away. And he had that way of turning me on that I never experienced before, because in my head i wasnt having sex with the avatar, i was reaching an orgasm with the person behind the screen, a person that i never even seen". 

Marie felt for Tyler the moment she met him on a random land without shirt nor shoes. His voice made her forget about the lack of shoes, she didnt see him as an avatar....he was the most amazing person she ever met. "I never even change my clothes" he said. Marie knew he could even wear a clown costume forever and it wouldnt make a difference, what she felt had nothing to do with their avatars. And she is actually very proud of showing her man around. A little secret? She is dying to ask him to marry her.

Chris has his avatar looking like a noob, no AO, not mesh. But he has been in SL for 3 years. "Im not wearing the ultimate bento body to make people come to me for the way I look, connections are made with something deeper and stronger that appearance".

Are we the only ones looking beyond the appearance...?

Or are outsiders a majority? 

Virtually Human

We all get to the point in Second Life where we ask ourselves how much of my Real Life am I going to involve here?

So many people use the Virtual World as an excuse to be the worse version of themselves. Disrespectful, players, they lose the sense of morality that makes us human.

I was very curious about the whole "Sugar Daddy" thing, so I met this group of Sugar Baby girls.
The conversation between them was like this:

Adda: "Poor thing, he just IMmed me telling me he is quite depressed, he is having an awful time in rl. I'm gonna tp there, told him I could make his day better"
Liz: "Go girl!!! Now is when you talk all sweet to him" Get to that wallet lol!"
Adda: "Duh! I mean look at him...he got so ridiculously mystical about wanting to connect to the 'real me´ and not with the avatar. I mean...darling this is the real me, this perfect flawless avatar that never get messed up, not even messy hair in bed. 

When I asked for how long they have been in this Sugar relationship I couldnt believe it...8 months!!!!! If the person you have been sharing such special moments with, even with a base of money, after EIGHT MONTHS tells you he is having a difficult time in rl and needs your support...are you really just gonna see the wallet?

He must have been quite lonely in RL to come looking for that in SL. Call me old fashioned, but I cant just see a perfect avatar or a wallet. I PERCEIVE the human being behind the screen.

Answering the question I started here with....ever if you dont want to involve your Real Life here, not having the basic human values just make you an asshole, not a perfect flawless avatar.

IM me

I always believed men in Second Life always looked for sex.

In an anonymous Escort Club in Second Life my whole idea about men changed.

"Most men come here to talk, they want to be pampered. We mostly get payed to be Girlfriends, not Dancers. They want the whole Girlfriend Experience, the sure thing: someone to love them without drama, to go around on dates with them -and they are VERY romantic-, they want the girlfriend that wont be annoying with jealousy and stuff that usually come up in a relationship"

Mare is an experienced SL Escort, she makes around L$80.000 in a lousy week. She is amazing, her social skills rock. When she told me this, I couldnt believe it.

So I started actually talking with people, starting IMs with strangers and I could see many guys told me "I'm sorry, i am not good at starting conversations, i'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing". And its not just for men, women are insecure too!

It was so sad! Some people are terrified of being judged for using the wrong words... and it seems in Second Life they wouldnt have a Second Chance.

Why some people in Second Life have to be so cruel and judgemental....?

From now on, i'm never waiting for anyone to IM me first.

And you...what are your waiting for??? Take your chances and start IMming!

Virtual Desires

Is the fact that we dont share our worlds what makes the hottests relationships in Second Life?

You meet this person, click right away, have an absolute chemistry. But when you try to share worlds they simple dont match as we were hoping it would. Can be the complete different culture, the tremendous age gap, just different backgrounds that makes the magic be gone.

"We have an amazing time in Second Life, she is fun and makes me feel like home. We are all the time doing things, without planning even...it is just perfect...NATURAL, for weeks we've been hanging around and I cant get tired of her. Its just that when we try to talk about our RL we are so different it seems it takes us apart! Is that the so called ´Second Life only?´"

If it is...whats the harm in believing?

In Second Life you can try everything you ever wanted, from surfing to BDSM. So if we believe in a sexual fantasy we could believe in a Second Life relationship.

After all.... what really defines a relationship? Is it what you share or ...what you dont?

And if what defines a relationship is what you dont share, then having your secret fantasies in Second Life would make a RL marriage fake?